May 2012
Reblog if you're unattractive and awkward.
today, i was presented with a choice...
knewdrew:
i had $54.
i could either…
pay my $54 phone bill or
i could spend $1 dollar on a watermelon arizona and get my phone turned off until tomorrow when i have another dollar.
“It’s the oldest story in the world. One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for...”
– Nathan Scott (via magicmanula)
badcgijosh:
I actually just had trouble remembering my age and then I realized I’m 23 and the rest of this Blink-182 related joke sort of writes itself
woofuckingjiho:
when the pizza guy came over today i was like “have a good day” and he said “dont tell me what to do” and i just stood there staring at him and then he’s like “lol i got that from drake and josh”
5 tags
.
2 tags
calmgiant:
How to properly pronounce Bon Iver
“thank god I had the quadratic equation to calculate the parabola of the ball I...”
– no one (via zahrabahrabobara)
cataquack:
seneca—-crane:
Argus Filch and the Students Out of Bed
Argus Filch and the Graffiti Everywhere
Argus Filch and the High Cost of Painting Repair
Argus Filch and the Massive Crowd That Leaves Trash Everywhere
Argus Filch and the Best Year Ever
Argus Filch and the Ruined Bathroom
Argus Filch and the Worst Mess He’s Ever Seen
Women don't have to:
magicalboobs:
gypsiez:
be thin
have a vagina
give birth
cook for you
have long hair
wear makeup
have sex with you
be feminine
be graceful
shave
be white
diet
be fashionable
wear pink
love men
be the media’s idea of perfection
listen to your bullshit
joydivsion:
some people are so cute i just wow congratulations on your dna
have you ever eaten food just so no one else can have it
1 tag
hommos:
and then satan said lets fuck with people’s minds and make friday close to monday but monday really far from friday
Every single time.
Actual lyrics: Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba (Here comes a lion, Father)
Me: NAAAAAAZEBWENYAMAKAKIPIKUKUU!!!!
the-vashta-nerada:
fun fact about the human body!
if you took the skin of an average human and laid it out
you would have enough
to get a pretty fucking serious criminal conviction
how my sentences start when im high: dude...
how my sentences start when im not high: dude...
baraskank:
oh my god my dad just went out to walk the dog and he must have got halfway down the street and then he just came back and I was like “what’s the matter” and he just said really quietly “i forgot the dog” and my dog was just siTTING BY THE DOORSTEP WITH HIS LEASH ON LOOKING REALLY SAD kOMFGYOD
biologicalresearch:
when musicians you love love other musicians you love
majss:
i can’t wait to use this math formula in real life
3 tags
math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
history test: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs
literature test: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"
Physics tests: The aliens ate 3.4 doughnuts. Their crumbs fell to the Earth because of gravity. Calculate how many penguins are eating pancakes at the speed of light.
